Sandhya's update: a month later, we are sitting in almost exactly the same spot where we were last time transiting through Kuwait. Transit anyone? To be precise: we spent last night and all day here, at the "airport hotel" where we were basically locked in -- lacking a visa to visit the state of Kuwait. So we weren't allowed to step outside the hotel, and were served sad meals. Something between Indian and continental. Three meals in a day where there was nothing to do, and nowhere to go. I slept a little, but Lisa was restless. We tried watching some of the bollywood video cds I had bought in Hyderabad, but they don't really work well on the computer, and the ones that did did not have English subtitles. 

This long transit we owe to the fact that our flight from India was late, which meant we missed all our connecting flights, and had to wait 24 hours for the next connection. The delay in departure meant that my last few hours in Hyderabad were spent in great frustration dealing with unhelpful travel/airline agents... I experienced the airport lounge version of road rage.

All the blissful hours I had spent this month were rapidly getting diluted, adding to my sadness at leaving my family.

Well, now we are half-way back to the US. My computer carries pictures that I took relentlessly, photographing everything at home, on the road, in the car, even my taxi-driver in Chennai. Each picture is imbued with a flavor that is as rich as the emotions I lived this past month.

It's impossible to say what the favorite part of this vacation was, but the family trip to Goa was definitely right up there. We stayed in a villa owned by Rahul's friend, lovely and quiet. It rained most of the time, and we made a couple of long excursions out to other parts of Goa. One of them was to the Brahma temple in Valpoi, a 2-hour drive from where we were. There are apparently only two temples dedicated to Brahma (Brahma being one of the triad of Brahma the creator, Vishnu the preserver and Shiva the destroyer. Interestingly Brahma also "created" (fathered?) a daughter named Sandhya).

This temple is quite deep in the forest. The statue of the deity itself is said to be from the fifth century. It is really beautiful, about 5 feet tall, and very detailed. The story is that the Portugese who starting occupying the are in the 15/16th century began an inquistion-like persecution and destroyed several temples. The Brahma statue was spirited out of its temple and hidden in the forest. Now, all these years later, the local villagers (about 40 families) are putting the money together to build a proper temple around the statue. Currently, the temple has a stone enclosure and the sanctum is temporarily made of aluminum and plastic sheets.

On the way we also stopped at 7th century cave dwellings and temples. These were small caves hewn out of the red laterite rock that is abundant in the area, and the ceiling constantly dripped water (it may only be seasonal of course, since it was the monsoons). There are three shiv-lings, each in its own cave. I was fascinated, though I don't think the rest of us were quite as enthusiastic. Interesting pictures.

There was much more, in particular some quality beach time with the family. It was just so wonderful to have my whole family there, each of us doing our own thing, but also doing a lot of stuff together. For a few moments, I got to be my nephew's hero, as I held his hand and coaxed him into the waves. Somewhere in the two trips I made to the beach and swam around, I injured my back (tail bone) and was in quite some pain till my brother gave me his wonder painkiller pill. I still have pain from that day, and have taken to wearing a belt to help ease the load on my lower back.

And so many more memories...

While we sit here, contemplating another $10.00 coffee, waiting endlessly for our next flight. Ah, Kuwait. Somehow you won't make it to any special place in my memory book.

oy!

We are stuck in Kuwait for 24 hrs. staring at the ceiling in the hotel room. We can't go outside the hotel (which is at the airport) or else we have to go through all kinds of rigamarole to get on our flight tonight. We were delayed in HYD. The plane was 5 hrs. late. We spent the whole time screaming at people on the phone because no one would tell us what to do and no one was taking responsibility. It sucked. Finally, we decided to take a risk and get on the plane and see what would happen when we got to Kuwait. Luckily, they put people up at the airport all the time (evidenced by the tons of people in the lobby with plane tickets and passports in hand). Why couldn't they just tell us that? GRRR!

Anyway, more details late. S and I are going to watch a Hindi movie right now. I just downloaded a VCD player! Yay!

Enjoy the pics!

Time for another chapter

Hello again!

I thought it was time for another post. I updated the pictures yesterday but it takes so long because the internet is slow and unreliable I'm usually quite tired by the end and don't have the energy to write. Anyway, I digress...

So, Sandhya and I went to a very upscale, luxurious spa in Gatchibawli (aka Cyberbad) called Ista. We thought that we'd do some market research while we were here, in case we want to start a spa someday! I think her friend misunderstood the scale of the spa we could create and sent us to this place. 

Ista was amazing but part of a huge hotel and the international spa association. They are adding a school for massage and estheticians. Apparently, once you are certified by this school you can work anywhere around the world and their curriculum is certified by both Ayurvedic and Yoga Accreditation bodies and includes training in "international spa therapies." This consists of  courses in spa management, body and beauty treatments, massage, sports therapy, reiki, fitness, and athletics. Interesting!! This particular spa Ananda Spa, is all over India (Rishekesh, Bangalore, Hyderabad, Bombay, etc.). Check it out: http://www.anandaspa.com and the school at http://www.anandaspainstitute.com/about-us.asp

If I ever get the itch this would be a good way to earn a living and be able to travel. This would also be a good job if I wanted to get involved in the international spa industry. Cool! 

The massage was pretty good (you could tell it was a branded routine though) and all the fancy stuff like the hot towel on my feet and the beautiful ambience kind of made up for what the massage lacked--character. They really paid attention to the little details--each individual chair had a towel rolled up on it, there were little bottles of water and fruit available everywhere. All the speakers/headphones next to the chaise loungers were Bose. Luxury!

Gatchibawli is interesting because it's home to Microsoft, Honeywell, and other IT companies. There is also a golf course being developed (who needs kilometers of green grass in this heat and with a water shortage?) This city is full of camps with blue plastic tarp shanties where laborers live while they are creating these new buildings. It's an interesting and difficult to observe juxtapositioning of 3rd and 1st worlds. Ista is definitely part of the 1st world scene in Gatchibawli. It's hard not to feel conflicted.

There are 2 guards that scan your car with bomb detectors which goes under the car when you enter the driveway of the hotel. They also checked the trunk, and what did they find in Sandhya's dad's car? Millions of books, no bombs! LOL!

Afterwards, they brought is freshly juiced vegatables with all kinds of yummy spices. Delicious! I tasted black salt, turmeric, corriander, ginger (I could be wrong...Don't try to make it at home without testing for yourself!)

We then sashayed over to the restaurant and had a glass of wine and a pickled beet, goat cheese napolean like thing (layers) with rocket (arugula). YUM! The food and wine together was under $10 us. The massage ran us about $35-40 each. Juice, aesthetics and tip included! Not too bad!

Now for the next exciting adventure...

Qutb Shahi Tombs.

We arrived and were received by a gaggle of men (arranged by Anna-s's dad) to show us around the place. We were able to drive in while others were only allowed to walk. We were also waited on, performed for and served soda when we were thirsty. It's too weird. I guess the Director of Archeology was Anna's friend in the IAS (Indian Administrative Service) where they both worked or knew of Anna from name and post or something (they didn't look like contemporaries so I'm guessing the latter). Anyway, the mosoleums were beautiful and the tombs inside had scriptures of koran written on them. Arabic is quite a beautiful language to look at as well as hear--it's more interesting than some romance language. You can really hear the  pain and the sorrow and sensuality and life in the language. I actually really like that you can hear the call to prayer everyday at Sandhya's parents house. I know that they are quite hassled by it and it feels invasive to them, but as a visitor it is something interesting, I guess.

The last king of Golkunda (which was a huge empire that present day hyderabad city is a a part of) was Muslim and so the park is in traditional Muslim style. Islam dictates that one can't have any idols so they use what god creates, nature, to represent his greatness. All muslim parks are very beautiful, full of greenery, water, and flowers. They also often represent 4 channels in their designs representing the 4 promises in heaven: milk, honey, wine and pure water. Golkunda (in which the tombs are located) was a huge territory and was famous for it's diamond mines and the Kohi Noor diamond which now crowns the British queen. The last kings tomb was left unfinished because the kingdom was attacked by the great Mogul empire that then ruled most of India (right up to Afghanistan. In fact Kandihar in Afghanistan was often a tussle between the Persian empire and the Mogul empire because it was in the liminal space between both. The Emperor that attacked Golkunda was Aurangzeb, "the last emperor" because soon after him the empire started crumbling. He was also the son of Shah Jehan who built the Taj Mahal. To seize his throne, he killed the crowned prince and imprisoned his father. He was a very strict Orthodox Muslim. Interestingly, the Princesses of the empire were never allowed to marry for fear of competition from their husbands for the throne. After the official tour was over Anna (pronounces Un-na) told us many more stories and sandhya is now (in her truly veracious appetite) is consuming a book on the last two emperors of the Mogul Empire. 

Sandhya is busy going through old books, clothes, and love letters from 15 years ago. Needless to say she is also going through tons of emotional stuff with her parents and family (more internally than externally). It's really been hard for her and also very lovely and a great opportunity. Yesterday she had a bad back--nothing specific, just random pain. I wondered (as did she) if it was due to the above mentioned explorations. Ya think? She'll probably tell you more about that though. It's interesting for me and it's hard not to get lost in her process. I'm having a bit of a hard time focusing on myself. It's difficult when everything revolves around another person's family system and also you are dependent on the family drivers etc. I think I just need to take a break... Blogging helps, and I think I'm going to write an outline for a presentation I am going to do at Rahul's de-addiction center on body centered awareness and empathy. Cool!

Yesterday, though I had some good conversations with Raisa (S's niece). We talked about our views on spirituality and what it's like to be a teenager and grow up in India in the Luther clan. I think I'm a better friend to kids these age than their disciplinarian. It was nice to hang out with her and just be able to chat--just she and I. My job at Naropy gets those roles confused and it's difficult to connect with the kiddos that age. I might actually be a good therapist to that age group. 

More Later,

L*

Alright, Alright!

Well, I have officially been shamed by my friend Erica for not blogging for so long, so here goes!

I think I can say I am officially overwhelmed. As I think I may have said in my previous blog, I am a kinesthetic processor. All we've been doing is interacting with others, touristy things and eating and sleeping--which doesn't allow all that much time for intentional movement (sometimes this looks like mouth movement but calls back to US are expensive so...) That being said, I will do my best to live with finger movement and relay my experience thus far.

Well, there certainly has been a lot of doctor's visits in the past 14 days that we've been here. There were gastroenterologists, and ultrasounds, and gynecologists, etc. One thing that I have to say about india is that healthcare is affordable!!! Sandhya got an ultrasound for $10 US! I almost died-- they just paid the bill at the cashier like there was nothing to it! Upon inquiry and realizing after doing the conversion in my head, I said, "whhhaaaaat!! we've been duped! (in the US, that is).

Oh, right, I should probably tell you why we've been visiting the docs! Everything is fine by the way. Before we left sandhya was feeling nausea all the time and vomited about three times during the span of two or three weeks. Obviously, we were concerned and consulted a doc in the US. He said he thought it was probably her gallbladder so she got onto a diet (which seemed to help--no fats,etc) and wait it out until we got to India so she could get it treated for just about... hum, nothing... I think she's spent about $100 total on 2 ultrasounds, gastro meds, gyno visits, blood work (FSH and estrodial) gastro doc visit and a mammogram. Shiiiittt!! She was so funny, she wondered if it could be counted toward her out of network deductible.

What we found out is that she has some fibroids in here uterus (which she experiences no symptoms from so they don't need to be removed) and that her gallbladder is perfectly fine. The nausea I suspect was maybe a virus. the doc gave her some digestive aids (which I paid like $15 at whole foods before I left, which she paid about $2 for here) and she is feeling fine. The rest were follow ups and basic routine check up stuff.

Anyway, enough about that... 

Sightseeing update. 

We've been to a few touristy things so far, Charminar, Chowmahalla palace and Golkunda sound and light show. 

You've seen the pics of Charminar and Chowmahalla (look to the right) but now for the story!

I have never seen so many people in one place before. There was so much to take in and experience that I got overwhelmed pretty fast. I almost had a full fledged panic attack on the stairs up to the top of the gate/entrance to the old city (see pics). The stairway was so narrow, the steps were so tall and there were so many people crowding into the passage at the same time I got very, very claustrophobic. I had an image of needing to get out and not being able to because there were so many people that I thought my heart was going to explode out of my chest. I really couldn't breathe. I kept a firm eye hold on my girlfriend's bottom and tried to breathe. I made it to the top but I needed some time to recover... Unfortunately, I wasn't provided that opportunity until much, much later. 

Upon arrival, S and I went to the edge to look out over the hordes of people below. There was so much to see, smell, hear, experience, my senses were on overdrive. Then a few teenage boys asked if I would pose for a picture. I didn't really respond, I just stood there, dumbfounded, with my mouth half open, whilst they snapped it (i don't want to think about why they wanted a picture... the motto here on all beauty products in South India is "fair and lovely"--they place that value on in their women so one could understand how I would suspect foul play). Anywho, a few minutes after that some Indian women came up to S and I and introduced themselves. Turns out they were from a teacher's college in Bangalore. After a few minutes of chatting and asking where I was from (L: "america", cause when I say "US" they say oh, "america") they also wanted to snap a photo. I felt like I was on the inside of a cage in a zoo. What am I? An albino tiger? LOL! Oh man, weird...

Well, needless to say it was hard for me to concentrate on all the sights and I think I was partially on auto-pilot because later when I saw the pics Sandhya was relentlessly snapping I said, "oh yeah, right, that's where we were today!!" It just seemed so surreal.

We then walked around Lad bizarre, which is full of tiny shops selling bangles or books or setting people's fractures (see the pic of the bone specialist shop), meat, tools, hardwares, whatever you could think of (except sunglasses, which I was in desperate need of!!). So, there are people, dogs, bikes, cars, auto rickshaws, motorcycles, cars and pedestrians all trying to occupy the same 100sq. ft. as you travel in India. Because they don't have a lane system everyone crowds to the same place to get around. It's a little treacherous to walk! Thank god most of the time we have a driver (wow, that's interesting to hear how that sounds--it's also a very weird experience to have someone waiting on you while you are doing errands or visiting your friends, etc. People are up your ass here all the time: servants, people, family, you name it...no privacy whatsoever!) Speaking of the driver on the way out of town (when I just couldn't take it anymore and he had to come and rescue us--come on, I wasn't a total lightweight, it was like 2.5hrs of this craziness in the sun!) people were actually swarming the car and we were stopped for about 10mins. The people who were behind us and also paralyzed in the traffic started actually PUSHING the car and getting very angry!!! It was kinda scary (that was tempered for my mother...but who are we kidding here I almost crapped my pants!). 

Alright, so the driver whisked us away to Chowmahalla palace where there were a lot less people and lot more sanity for me. It was really beautiful. Indian architecture is really great. We spent some time wandering around (without the pleasure of being in any eye locks with the locals) and learning a bit about the history of Hyderabad. The last Nizam was actually the wealthiest person in the world (he is said to have been very cheap and smoke the stubs of other people's cigarettes--which is maybe how he became rich...).  He was married to Turkish royalty and let me tell you the niece of the last Caliph of Turkey was a babe!! Anywho, we enjoyed some treats in the shade and I was able to calm down a bit and process some of my experience at Charminar. After such an eventful day I took a nap when we got home!

The next day we went for an ayurvedic massage. I don't know if anyone has every had this kind of traditional Kerala massage, but boy if you have you don't forget it! At some point during the massage I heard the voice of my friend Erica Z. who just came back from India say in my head, "I got this massage and it was crazy, and this woman got all up into my kitchen (aka, for those not in the know, the private parts)!" I got a little worried but it didn't ever happen so I was relieved. Anyway, I digress! So, basically what happens is they lube you up real good with hot oil and lay you on a wooden table and pump the shit out of your tissues. It was definitely not what I was used to but it did the job. I think I can relax a bit more next time now that I know what to expect. I think I am also going to try a spa in Gutchybali (at least that is how it is said, if not spelled!) soon as well. I'll keep you posted. 

Other than all of the above mentioned adventures Sandhya and I have been trying to manifest some while we are here. There is so much possibility and opportunity here that it is quite inspiring. We would love to start a business in the US that would permit us more travel to and from India, so we are working on that as well. More on that later...

Her parents are very, very nice to me and I feel that I have been adopted fully! It's cute, they call me Lisa baby and have been feeding me millions upon millions of mangoes (which is another way to show hospitality and love!). 

We have been buying tons of things from table clothes to clothes and today we went to the tailor to get some things stitched. There really is no end to the costuming possibilities and creativity. It's amazing!

In a few days my cousin Michael will arrive from Bangalore and we will go see the temple in Verengal. I'm very, very excited to see him! He's been traveling since November throughout Asia. I bet he'll be happy to see a familiar face, as will I.

I'm also finally meeting a lot of Sandhya's friends (people I've heard a bizillion stories about) and getting to see what her life was like here in india (archie, butchie, jaynat, mahanoor, etc.). They all are really nice and I'm finding it easy to be easy with them.

It's so funny to think about her in that job with Patsy now seeing how she grew up with a million Sandhyas and Cassandras and Gretchens around her! 

S also has many powerful and rich friends as well (one friend I met today Ranuk, is the decedent of the last Nizam) which is also a little strange to see how they live and what they talk about (not to objectify it but I just have never experienced that kind of wealth before). The class system is very exaggerated and pronounced here. It is also interesting to reflect on Sandhya's commitment to social justice issues and understand some of the reasons why... given her privilege as well... There are also pronounced remnants of the English colonization and the internalized oppression that can occur when the white folks leave and the local people take over but keep some of the same "civilized" customs. There is so much to say about that but I won't just now...

Well, that's it for now. My little finger walkers are tired and need a rest. Hope you enjoy the post Erica!

Love to you all!

Lisa

Stout

We got stuck in Dulles for a few hours. We found some beers! Guess which kind? Sandhya wondered how that was going to help me cope, while she chomped on her pathetic "chicken" sandwich and sipped on a huge glass of water.

We're Here!!

Lisa's Great Adventure:Oh My God! After 27 Hours (and almost 6 years of talking about it) We are here! It hasn't really sunk in yet... We got to the airport around 5:15am. I thought Sandhya was going to die she was so excited! After a few minutes through immigration, and luggage line we were off on our great adventure! Rahul picked us up (with a driver, of course) and we drove through the streets of Shamshabad to Banjara Hills in Hyderabad.

We saw a guy on a scooter, carrying a goat. I thought, "Oh, how cute! Look at those square eyes". Then Sandhya told me he was likely off to the slaughter--much to my dismay...

Sandhya's sister-in-law and mother were waiting for us on the steps to the house when we got here. Rajesweri (Sandhya's sister-in-law) is very sweet and friendly. She calls Sandhya "kuti" or "old dog." Sandhya's mom was very loving and friendly and gave me a big hug. Yay!! I was very nervous she wouldn't like me... So, everything is good.

We go into the house and get the tour. I see where all the stories have taken place. We are sleeping in Rahul's old lair in the front of the house (downstairs). We see Sandhya's old bedroom (where she spent some of her early adulthood) and it looks a lot like her bedroom on Walnut street. I mention this to her later and she says, "huh, I never thought about that." It was quite clear to me though that that room was the last place she had been before coming to Boulder.

We had breakfast of mangoes (they really are just inexplicably good! It's a very complex flavor)and upma (kind of like cream of wheat with veggies) and then took a 6 hour nap. We missed the hottest part of the day, so I'm still not sure what's in store in terms of heat. I have to say though, they really do manage the heat well here. There are all kinds of tricks and the lassi is delicious (cooling drink of yogurt, curry leaves, corriander powder, mint, etc.).

When we woke up we had tea (lipton green label of course) and then I took a walk with Anna (sandhya's dad). It was quite beautiful at dusk. It reminded me of Central Park in a way. It was like a little bit of nature admidst the noise and traffic of the city. There is a central part of the place we were walking that has a mosque in it (which I wanted to see) but it was closing. Maybe tomorrow...

People are so much more flow adjusting here. They'd have to be, the traffic is crazy! People just weave in and out of each other. It's kind of like dancing and quite beautiful.

The walk with Anna can be summed up in the following observations... There are many different kinds of Oggling.
1. Men with wives= they say with their eyes, "I'm with this woman, so I'm going to be tame, but my eyes say it all...given the chance..."
2. Women and children= they say with their faces, "what the hell is that gori (white woman) doing with the older Indian man."
3. Men= they say with their whole bodies, "I am going to eat you alive!!"

It's quite crazy. This can be subtle and also not so subtle. There is much to track and understand and one is always "on" here. I think it will take some time for me to adjust.

I am taking good care of myself--with all my lotions and potions I brought, and am really quite happy. It's fun to see Sandhya in her element and I'm not quite as anxious as I thought I would be-- which is a nice surprise. It really helps that I've met Anna and Rahul before. I feel more at ease.

Raisa is delightful (Rahul's daughter--many compliments from her about my skirt and necklace, etc) and very easy going. We found out that she shas the same superpower as her fellow Cancerian Erica -- she remembers what she has worn on which occasion. 5-year old Rishabh is a terror but also delightful! He and I played "pakdho" or "catch me" forever tonight. He's hilarious and very stubborn! That kid would not let up! We were running up and down and round and round while Anna and Bindi (sandhya's mom) laughed hysterically (apparently they have to play like this with him every night and it was quite a relief that I took over--I'm sure it's much easier to watch; he's intense!).

Sandhya's great adventure: DC, Kuwait (where there were more Indians than Arabs...but then we are everywhere ;) and then a mere five hours alter, HYDERABAD. The old Begumpet (tr. Stomch of the Begum) Airport is no longer being used, other than for private planes, my brother tells me . That used to be a short 10-15 minute drive from home, but now there is this new big one, just a month old, and on a good day, like this morning -- early Sundaymorning) it si about an hour. I can't fill my eyes enough, watching hungrily to see what's changed, is changing and what I can still recognize, somewhere under that old and spanky new merging.

We've been taking taking "no jet lag" pills during our trip to ward of the old JL, and I feel like I will not be sleeping for a long time.

Wait! There's a cart laden with mangoes! The one justifiation I can use for arriving here in the thick of summer -- mmman-gosmmm. My brother's (Rahul) car plays Dev Anand film songs (60s), which Lisa already knows well from hearing them pretty much every day in Boulder.

Customs andf immigration is so smooth I can hardly believe it. It's nice to have a passport of the country you are visiting. Outside the airport, I am happily surrounded by crowds of waiting families, and the frontline of "taxi, taxi madam? Will nothing annoy me for now? Noooo.

I check off the places I can still recognize -- Sarojini Devi Eye Hospital, where I've had myriad eye test and contemplated lasik surgery several years ago, there is the dusty narrow road to the Passport office, and there the ChaCha Nehru Park (no, not Nehru taking to the floor, but him being referred to as 'uncle' Nehru, as a whole generation of children were taught to think of him -- chacha -- father's younger brother.

Road no. 12? Where is it? Rahul: "we're on it". What?! This is Road 12? Multi-storeyed building, large stiore windows?

No wonder I could not find it on google 3d.

And just then, we are there: the short turn to the left, and three houses down the hill, and there it is: no. 175. How many times have I done this in my nostalgic imagination? Taken that turn and stopped outside the gate?

Mom and Rajeswari (Rahul's wife) are sitting on the steps of the house, and as I step out of the car, I know I have won my bet with Lisa. Yes, they say it together: 'oh yes, you are really so fat'. Sweetness and kindness is a wonderful family trait. Somehow, it seems to have slipped by my family in a hurry. I am meeting my mother after 7 years.

I have tried to make some meaning of those seven years. Maybe some day, but for now, I don't know where to rest my eyes, and try to remember to keep breathing. I am from Boulder, aren't I?

Mangos for breakfast, as per my request. Himayat mangos, first among my top two flavors. Rasaal, which is my other is not in the market yet. My mother tells me she won't buy the early ripened ones because they are rush-ripened "with acid". So, happily, we are still doing fruits seasonally. Anway, back to Rasaal -- these are large (about 8 inches long) bulky mangos. The best way to think of them is like a juice with high pulp content that you drink/suck up/chew right from its natural packing. A picture will explain it best, and as soon as I get my hands on one. there will be one up here (sorry just the picture, not the fruit).
There might be an ayurvedic massage in the very near future. And since I did not bring too many clothes with me, we are also to be soon on our first shopping spree. Two of my favorite stores from Delhi now have branches here, so I shall soon look decent again.
And in line of getting my suffering gall bladder attended to, I have my first appointment with the gastroentrologist tomorrow morning. Then maybe I can consume more mangos, idlis, dosas, coconut chutney...you know where my heart lies, right?

Last day...

Things are coming to a head. Life is about to change. Wrapping up loose ends. I don't feel like working today!!

Soon and Very Soon...

Well, it's Tuesday, and I'm here with my wives (S and Erica)--2 more days to go! I started taking my malaria pills. We are in chaos: shopping, packing, etc. Gotta go get it done.